you are an original

“You are an original.”  – Auntie Kamakawiwo’ole, bio-chemist, 7:30p 9/8/2010

These words have had a profound effect upon my psyche.  Mainly because all of my life I have been trying to fit in – fit in to the world’s definition of life, love, happiness, health, success, beauty.  Worry and fear of what others may think of me has become ingrained within my subconscious.  Even though I’ve always said, “I don’t care what anyone thinks,” I’m learning that in fact, I do care what everyone thinks.  We may not want to admit it, but if we grew up in this world, we all care about what everyone thinks.  It’s part of us whether we like it or not because the world has taught us that if we don’t fit in then we are at worst psychotic and at best unpopular.

When I heard the words “you are an original” from the mouth of a bio-chemist, my mouth dropped, my mind opened, and I realized my uniqueness as one of God’s creations and my purposeful place in His Story of Redemption.  Each and every one of us is an original.  Like snowflakes – not one carbon copy of another.  Each one completely unique in design.  Each one part of God’s plan.

old journal, old woman

This morning, while flipping through an old journal, I was unexpectedly reunited with the Janie of ten years ago. I had forgotten who she was. On the dusty pages, I was met with a dark and dying soul – one who was at a loss for meaning in life – one who valued the trees more than the soul of another human being. She was an angry Janie, pissed off at the polluted world in which she found herself living – overwhelmed by the poisonous elements and the destructive power of humanity.

As I read her words, tears filled my eyes. I fell to my knees with shock and remorse for the woman I once was. With the sarcasm and contempt contained in those pages, it is hard for me to believe the same hand that types this now wrote those words a decade ago. My heart breaks for who she was, but rejoices for who she is now.

Why the change? You may ask. What happened to that woman of old? The answer: She met the Savior of the world one fine spring morning on the coast of California and she has never been the same since. Her heart was hijacked by a Love that has no bounds. She let go of what she knew wasn’t satisfying and stepped out in Faith – determined to follow through, even though she couldn’t see the Path in front of her.

It has been four years since I took that step into the arms of Jesus Christ. I knew that Faith would be an adventure, but I sometimes forget that I will have to revisit my old paths from new perspectives as God reveals them.  Often this revisiting process can be very painful.  Yet, I rejoice because I know that this is the process of sanctification.  It is this process that brings me closer in relationship with God.

I am humbled by His revelation of my former self this morning. I praise God for His Mercy and for reminding me of where I came from; allowing me to see with renewed clarity the Path set out before me.

When we stop to look at where we have come from, and compare that to where we currently are, then the direction in which we have been going becomes evident.

quote from 1885

“Confound not faith and feeling together. They are distinct. Faith is ours to exercise. This faith we must keep in exercise. Believe, believe. Let your faith take hold of the blessing, and it is yours. Your feelings have nothing to do with this faith. When faith brings the blessing to your heart, and you rejoice in the blessing, it is no more faith, but feeling.”  {Ellen G. White; Testimonies for the Church Vol. 1, pg. 167}

waiting in faith

“One good rule to keep in mind is that there are no crises with God, for no human problem can baffle His wisdom.” –Who Waits in Faith by Harry Tippett

All that I know is I’m breathing

He sustains His breath in me.  I am humbled.  I am thankful for this life.

“The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.”  Job 33:4